But Not Who

shadow dancingLooking around seeing nothing
or rather little
rankingly rascally clouds
deft diving dragonflies
chickadee goldfinch and humming hummingbird
but not you, not you

Feeling around feeling nothing
or rather little
senile seminal sea breezes
elephantine elf ermine
shepherds, chihuahuas and Sephardic shelties
but not you, not you

Turning around there is nothing
or rather little
tall tanning treetops
fetchingly fast feathers
flora fauna and flowering flowers
but not you, not you

But of course waiting for nothing
forever little
grinding guilty grand grooves
tapping toes tautly
seeing softly spilling sunrise
but not you, not you

But Not Who

A Going Crazy Two

headlights-fsSitting here reading
It’s been two pages
And I don’t remember a word

I am with you
As if walking
As if I’ve said all I can say
As if I love you
As if that’s not enough
Not anymore
I don’t know what you want me to say
I don’t know how to go back and fix
Whatever it is I broke
I don’t really know
But you expect me to
Understand you don’t see
How a man’s head can be cement
How his ears can be bunged
How his heart might not and
Wonder why beat in unison
In this case yours

Haven’t I been paying
Enough attention to you
I haven’t wanted to do
Enough of what you do
Though the ground you
Walk on is always a surprise

But

I have.
I have!
I have two and two
A going crazy two to
Understand

Sitting here I would
Desperately not knowing
The difference between two
Better than I have to
Short of being

Is that what you want?
I ask
No
You say

But it is
Isn’t it
You want me to be two
To give up the one
And only for the only one
You want whatever I
Should know it is

Understanding, though…
Isn’t that a truck in the middle
Of a dark, rainy, dreary night
Without headlights around a curve
As if the light of the moon is
Enough is never enough
And more than enough is what
Will wear the brakes if the hill
Is steeper than the dark is
Too much for the moon.

You don’t understand
And that’s what I’ve been
Saying I don’t either
As if it should have meaning
Enough to be left
Unsaid
But then, it’s raining
And it always has been

A Going Crazy Two

A Single Leaf

with the sun settinga leaf on the path
the forest in deepening shadow
feeling the growing coolness
I hear the crackling sound
of a single leaf being crushed
somewhere behind me
and I tense in anticipation
thinking it is you
having changed your mind

waiting and listening
all my senses taught
there is not another sound
until the dog licks my hand
ready to accompany me
on my last walk
through the woods
on the path
leading away
from you

A Single Leaf

He Will Not Say Who

he will not say who’s wantingman in a fog, walking away
you don’t need to, she
said she had to let him go, even though
though she never would learn what
nor would she ever know
and it would tear at her inner
ripping like a dull blade
no smooth cold slice
in the vicinity
that’s the way it was
nearly, merely a guess
how she let him go
where

There was not enough time to know
there was no sacrifice to be made
she piled the sticks on top of each
but they did not add up
and they would not burn
she recognized him for what
he would continue walking never
there would be no admittance
no means to scrabble over
then the truth would not matter
promising would not help
for she knew there was a lie
because his not knowing was knowing
while she would weep
for the wanting

He Will Not Say Who

Sure You Can Say

Do what you likepaint speckled on blue
it’s other than maybe
you can pretend happy
unless you are

inside the otherside
you will heartbeat
it will be what
what you wanted

no part have i
neither in my hair
nor in this other
it is the only plan

Sure you can say
but will you mean
or simply be
other than gentle

angry is the stream
in a sudden storm
throwing water, sand
is your response this

should i leave knowing
i could salvage
a special daytime
if life lasted a day

and still call it love?

Sure You Can Say