Just a Chance in Hell

on a motorcycleUsually I put my tray on the table
and sit down always wondering if
maybe today she would say okay
or yes or sure or why not
instead of Sorry or not today
but always maybe was in the air

Today hesitating waiting until
with her I always needed permission
“Men are such assholes,” she groaned
as I sat down, now more uncomfortable
wondering if it was me… wondering
if I was the such asshole

“Not you,” she said with half a smile
“You’re different,” as if I wasn’t
either an asshole or a man or what?
“I mean, what the hell do they want?”
she said as if I had a clue
but I wanted her even though…

Not a chance in hell she would say
if I dared ask her, which I didn’t
which was why I was different
which was because I knew she was
out of my hands which was only
because I thought I was different

She broke up with her boyfriend
She was a great lay he said and all that
but married married, was dangerous
So she told him what to do with himself
that he wasn’t that great a lay
and she left after all

So, I said, maybe we could go for
a drink somewhere and talk about it
if she wanted, which apparently she
did not because she said, maybe
tomorrow, I’m just to bummed now

She didn’t show up for work
the next day or the day after
and I never saw her again which
in the long run was okay because
after all, I was different

And I surely wasn’t crazy enough
to get on the back of a motorcycle
to ride with my arms around someone
who always made me feel like shit
even if he said, let’s go to Vegas
and get married, right now.
Which is what she did that night.

Just a Chance in Hell

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