Over my head it bounces
rolling, bouncing, landing, stopping on a stair
Reaching the ball, it moves
rolling off and down
Grasping for it,
there is nothing
no little girl with blond curls
not even a spot of light
coal cold blackness
From nowhere a flash of red
as my eyes flutter open
my father is exhaling deeply
my mother bends a frown to a smile.
“you almost left us,” she says.
I’m feeling my head wrapped tight
and it hurts
“you fell down the stairs
and your head hit a radiator.”
Already I am slipping to blackness.
After recording my first memory
Always I am reaching for that ball
but always finding a radiator