It Ain’t No Flashlight

Oh man I’m cookin’car at night
shakin and a bakin’
turning up the flame
nothing like an old flame
to warm up the wieners
and toast the buns
get the ketchup flowin’
and make the pickles relish

A sly look turning his face
to a little kid’s with a secret
reading Lady Chatterly’s Lover
and Lolita by flashlight light
under the covers not knowing
that mom peeked in at night
and under his bed at day

So I scoots her cross the floor
An’ she ain’t stopping me none
knowin’ full well what I am doing
preparin’ us both for a little
Ood time grinnin’ and a sinin’
but the nuns in the corner
watchin’ me the whole time
‘cause I’m crazier than a field of mint
too nice to be ignored
yet too crazy to be stopped

That girl’s gonna get a good talking to
first class Monday mornin’
She don’t care, cause she ain’t
Interested in no talking’ right now
She’s doin’ a little probin’ with her finger
as we Fox Trot off the floor and out the door
right towards the front seat o’ my car
where we take the back seat
to a safe place and
finish up our dance

I’m shakin’ and a bakin’
Getting’ her buns toasty
When all a sudden a flashlight
An’ it’s my buddy Ray
But it ain’t no flashlight
And I don’t know it’s Ray
Least not till after the film’s developed
I must say, though it wasn’t my best side
Even though I am kinda photogenic

It Ain’t No Flashlight

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