it always returns

You are right
you know you are right
you didn’t do anything wrong
there is no reason to feel like this
it was under control
but it never left
and you remember
and there you are again
your lungs struggle to work
your heart is beating
up into your ears
as you struggle to hold it in
but it is a tsunami
riding the earthquake
and it is back
maybe it never left
it is the frustration
the hopeless anger
The anger comes back
It always comes back
no matter
no matter how you try to get rid of it
no matter how you scream and curse it
no matter how much you don’t want it
no matter how you feel about it
it doesn’t give a damn about your feelings
it always returns
it always returns
always finds its way back to your doorstep
always hangs around blowing smoke rings
is always always in your face
pissing you off
leaving you steaming
and fuming
and screaming the remains of your name
there is no reason for this
there is never a reason for it
there is nothing you can do about it
because you can eat ice cream all day
you can eat tuna fish sandwiches
and crepes
and chicken tacos
and Crème brûlée
and when you’re all finished
when you are no longer famished
when you think
yes, you think you are satiated
and you’re comfortable
and satisfied
and breathing softly
it comes back
suddenly
starkly
not even cautiously
and there it is
hanging around
waiting for you to embrace it
like you always do
and you don’t know why
you never know why
even with clear skies
even with the moon smiling
it finds you
and won’t leave you
until
finally
you break down
you give in
you collapseSorry - typewritten
in upon yourself
great black hole that you are
and create a whole knew world
and happiness
finally life giving happiness
and you know she will think to herself
I told you so
when you say,
I am sorry

it always returns

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